01.15.10

Meditation On a Tiny Book

Posted in Gnomery at 4:02 pm by sooty

The Little Book of Calm, by meditation teacher, Paul Wilson, is quite little as books go, measuring 3.5 x 3.4 x 0.5 inches. The Consumer Product Safety Commission has not ruled on the safety of this type of product, but they’ve been advised to consult the debut episode of the TV comedy, Black Books, called Cooking the Books.

In the episode, Manny Bianco (as in white), an accountant under a great deal of stress, who hates his job, accidentally swallows his copy of The Little Book of Calm during an unpleasant exchange with his supervisor. He bought the book for £2.50 (decimalized British currency) from Bernard Black, the putative proprietor of the Black Books establishment located in some London High St area.

Whilst Bernard searches for distractions from doing his accounts for the Inland Revenue menace, engaging Johovah’s Witnesses in philosophical discussion and folding a huge pile of socks, Manny, now in hospital, is being advised by an NHS doctor, played brilliantly by Martin Freeman, that his chances of survival were 30% which was consider quite good by current standards. He reinforces this prognosis by reading a passage from the The Little Book of Calm visible on an X-Ray of Manny’s abdominal area. The surgery scheduled for Manny is abruptly canceled when it’s discovered the book once lodged in him has disappeared without a trace, apart from an odd transformation in his disposition. The doctor surmised that the book must have been assimilated.

A cut to Manny in his hospital bed, adds new significance to hospital gowns. His first verbal response to this news is a passage from the book in a remarkable radio voice. With each response from the doctor, thereafter, he chooses an apt passage from the book, to calm the doctor, while an aura encircles his head and he gestures as if he were something other than one might assume.

In hospital gown, robe, and sandals, Manny wanders the hospital and the streets quoting from the book at each stop he makes, where someone or something is in distress. In most cases, the stress is relieved. However, he ends up battered outside Black Books by skinheads loitering nearby who only became more agitated than they already were by his calming advice and responded with a predictable degree of disapprobation. The shock of the ASBO breach brought him round to his old self in quick order (or did it?).

This homily is delivered as a warning not only to CPSC but the general public at large, as well, of the dangers of tiny books. There is a very grave risk of some unsuspecting skinhead being turned into a hippie.

A few passages from the book:

Incidentally, The Little Book of Calm is also available in tablet form.

Permalink